Confessions of a Church: Father Carries a Son
The Psalm writer wrote: Open my eyes, that I may behold Wonderful things from Your law. As we come before a Holy God and hear his word, may we have eyes open to the wonderful and fearful things from his law. May it move us to repent and seek forgiveness, fear disobedience, and live in light of the grace we have received. This is the word of God. It is eternally true and applicable for all of life.
Deuteronomy 1: 18-33
I commanded you at that time all the things that you should do. “Then we set out from Horeb, and went through all that great and terrible wilderness which you saw on the way to the hill country of the Amorites, just as the Lord our God had commanded us; and we came to Kadesh-barnea. I said to you, ‘You have come to the hill country of the Amorites which the Lord our God is about to give us. See, the Lord your God has placed the land before you; go up, take possession, as the Lord, the God of your fathers, has spoken to you. Do not fear or be dismayed.’ “Then all of you approached me and said, ‘Let us send men before us, that they may search out the land for us, and bring back to us word of the way by which we should go up and the cities which we shall enter.’ The thing pleased me and I took twelve of your men, one man for each tribe. They turned and went up into the hill country, and came to the valley of Eshcol and spied it out. Then they took some of the fruit of the land in their hands and brought it down to us; and they brought us back a report and said, ‘It is a good land which the Lord our God is about to give us.’ “Yet you were not willing to go up, but rebelled against the command of the Lord your God; and you grumbled in your tents and said, ‘Because the Lord hates us, He has brought us out of the land of Egypt to deliver us into the hand of the Amorites to destroy us. Where can we go up? Our brethren have made our hearts melt, saying, “The people are bigger and taller than we; the cities are large and fortified to heaven. And besides, we saw the sons of the Anakim there.”’ Then I said to you, ‘Do not be shocked, nor fear them. The Lord your God who goes before you will Himself fight on your behalf, just as He did for you in Egypt before your eyes, and in the wilderness where you saw how the Lord your God carried you, just as a man carries his son, in all the way which you have walked until you came to this place.’ But for all this, you did not trust the Lord your God, who goes before you on your way, to seek out a place for you to encamp, in fire by night and cloud by day, to show you the way in which you should go.
This is the word of the Lord.
There was a day approximately 41 years ago, now clouded by the veil of time, which I remember faintly, yet with great fondness. It is a story you may have heard before, but perhaps you will allow me the opportunity to tell it one more time.
I was living in Millington, TN, a small lad of about 4 years of age. My family owned a few beagles named Charlie, Sam, and Panda.
My dad decided to take me hunting with him and Charlie one day in the field and woods across the road from the military housing where we lived. I surmise that we were rabbit hunting, based upon the presence of the dog, but perhaps we were squirrel hunting.
I recollect that the weather that day was dreary, cool, and damp. I remember that my dad was wearing a camouflage hunting vest, which had large, leak proof pockets where he would place the game he slaughtered.
He carried a single shot Winchester 20 gauge shotgun that day, and a pocket full of yellow shotgun shells.
In all likelihood we weren't out there very long, as my short legs and 4 year old temperament simply wouldn't allow for that.
One of the last things I can recall is that at some point, either having grown too weary, or become entangled in one too many thorn bushes, my dad picked me up, threw me on his back, and carried me the rest of the way home. Of all my childhood memories, this is perhaps the most cherished.
Think about the imagery here. Where else would a child be the safest, most secure, most content, and experience the most joy, but in the arms of a loving father?
As a child or an adult, when your father, or a Church father comes alongside and picks you up and carries you, either physically or emotionally, does that not elicit within you a peace which cannot be found anywhere else? A contendedness, a satisfaction, a realization that all is well, and will be well because you know that there are those who love you and will pick you up, and urge you on, when you are ensnared, burdened, and can't seem to go any further.
Yet in this life the reality is that though our fathers try, though church fathers are oftentimes well intentioned, the whole lot of them are sinners, and will fail you.
Maybe you can identify with this fact all too well. Perhaps your earthly father has never been there for you emotionally. Maybe he was abusive. Quite possibly he worked and traveled on business all the time, so his presence was something you grew accustomed to going without.
Perhaps you have a father who seems to have never let you down. One day he will not be there. Even the best of fathers will one day be swallowed up by death.
Where will your comfort come from then?
As happens in many churches, once strong, godly leaders are sometimes replaced by shepherds who seek to have their own comforts and wants met.
From where does your help come then?
When trials, temptations, and strife arise, when heartache is the only thing you feel, when the darkness is so oppressive that you don't know which way to go, remember:
‘Do not be shocked, nor fear them. The Lord your God who goes before you will Himself fight on your behalf, just as He did for you in Egypt before your eyes, and in the wilderness where you saw how the Lord your God carried you, just as a man carries his son, in all the way which you have walked until you came to this place.’ But for all this, you did not trust the Lord your God, who goes before you on your way, to seek out a place for you to encamp, in fire by night and cloud by day, to show you the way in which you should go
When temptation comes which seems too great, when calamity strikes which knocks you to the ground, when you have stumbled along in the darkness for so long, it seems that you cannot go on any longer, when all your earthly fathers have failed you, and fell by the wayside, remember that you have a Heavenly Father Who loves you.
Your temptation in those moments will be to go at it alone, to pull yourself up by the bootstraps, to clean yourself up, to right all the wrongs. These efforts will prove useless.
You'll be tempted to turn to wealth, entertainment, sex, internet preachers, secular gurus and the comfort of the masses on the broad road, but all these outlets lead to death. All thoughts of self deliverance are vain thoughts.
Calvin says this of our thoughts of trying and doing apart from God's grace:
"We have, however, this fine saying in the Psalms: 'If man were weighed against vanity, he would be found vainer than vanity itself' (Psalm 62:9). This is a serious censure of man's mind, since all the thoughts that come from it are mocked as stupid, frivolous, demented, and perverse."
All our schemes to find contentment, peace, or a feeling of belonging apart from Christ are the product of vain reasoning. Thank God we have a Heavenly Father Who knows our weaknesses, infirmities and needs, a Father Who remembers our frames.
Fathers, do you remember the frames of your sons? Do you carry your sons when they are weak? Do you recognize when your sons and daughters are entangled in vain thinking, and help them by carrying them to the cross?
Or are you impatient?
Are you afraid your son will turn out to be a homosexual, so you deny him the loving, gentle touch of a father? "No hugs for my boy, I want him to be a man."
"No hugs and kisses for my daughter, that just seems strange."
Well then fathers, don't think it strange when your daughter looks to other men for the physical affection you should have been giving them.
Perhaps you are resolved to not coddle him and make him soft, so he will grow up to be a man.
Fine, don't coddle him, but keep this in mind: our Heavenly Father fights for us and carries us all the way to the end. Matthew Henry says that Israel "had been carried in the arms of divine grace with as much care and tenderness as were ever shown to any child borne in the arms of a nursing father. And was there any room left to distrust this God? Or were they not the most ungrateful people in the world, who, after such sensible proofs of the divine goodness, hardened their hearts in the day of temptation?" If you are raising your son in such a way that as he grows he learns to despise the relationship he has with you because it is one of "I won't raise a sissy boy", don't be surprised when this son or daughter grows to view our Heavenly Father in the same way and never cries out "Abba Father!" in his time of need and desperation.
In Luke 15 Jesus tells this parable: “What man among you, if he has a hundred sheep and has lost one of them, does not leave the ninety-nine in the open pasture and go after the one which is lost until he finds it? When he has found it, he lays it on his shoulders, rejoicing. And when he comes home, he calls together his friends and his neighbors, saying to them, ‘Rejoice with me, for I have found my sheep which was lost!’ I tell you that in the same way, there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who need no repentance."
This is the love that a Father has for His children, that He sent His Son to seek and save the lost and once found, to carry them on His shoulders. Won't you trust this loving Father today?
Won't you strive to love your sons, daughters, brothers and sisters in this manner, with faith in Christ and His finished work, carrying them when they are weak, entangled, and stumbling?
Another quick point of application regarding how to love your sons and daughters as God loves and carries the Church: fathers, discipline your children. A father disciplines the son whom he loves.
For instance, because children are weak, lack self control, and have an undisciplined sense of situational awareness, children must be taught, disciplined, with the rod if necessary, to behave in a way that is appropriate for the context in which they are. Example: children running through the sanctuary, whether on a Sunday morning or some other function, is not acceptable. There are 5 acres outside in which they can run. "Well, my little one can't simply go outside, he'll get lost, fall in a hole, get run over by a car"....
This is where being a parent comes in. You are a father or mother. You must be the one to teach your child in that instance where it is appropriate to run and where it is not. It may mean you don't get to chat as long as you'd like with other parents because you are outside caring for your child as they learn where to run. It may mean you have to take your child into the restroom and apply the rod.
"Well, it's muddy outside. They can't run around out there."
Again, you have some options.
Bring a change of clothes, teaching your child that it is not acceptable to drag mud into the sanctuary.
Or, teach your child that though they like to run, and since it is muddy outside, they must learn to master their appetites, in this case the desire to run. This will mean that you, as father and mother, are going to have to do the hard, routine, repetitive, and sometimes frustrating work of being a parent.
What isn't an option is for your child to run amok as if this sanctuary is their personal playhouse, breaking things, knock people down, and trailing mud and food debris all over the place, leaving the carnage for someone else to pick up. It is not loving to neglect the discipline of your children.
If you are able, please kneel as we confess how we sometimes fail to trust our Heavenly Father to provide, protect, and lead us and our families.
Heavenly Father,
We come before You this morning with no recourse but to plead guilty.
We have violated Your Law at every point, and oftentimes our more egregious sins harm those we are entrusted to love.
Father, please forgive us for not loving our sons and daughters in a manner which brings You glory.
Please forgive us for delighting in the grace You show us each and every second of the day, then grow impatient when we must extend that grace to others.
Please forgive us when we show more grace to total strangers in public, than we do to our children in private.
Help us to remember the frames of our children, and be willing and able to bear their burdens.
In Jesus' Name we pray, amen.
Please stand and listen to the comforting assurance of the grace of God, promised in the gospel to his church:
Hebrews 4:14-16 Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but One who has been tempted in all things as we are, yet without sin. Therefore let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.
To all those who thus repent and seek Jesus Christ for their salvation, your sins are forgiven in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen. Lift up your hearts!
(From the 11/14/2021 liturgy of Sovereign King Church written by Aaron Sabie.)