Confessions of a Church: Family Discipline
The Psalm writer wrote: Open my eyes, that I may behold Wonderful things from Your law. As we come before a Holy God and hear his word, may we have eyes open to the wonderful and fearful things from his law. May it move us to repent and seek forgiveness, fear disobedience, and live in light of the grace we have received. This is the word of God. It is eternally true and applicable for all of life.
Deuteronomy 6:1-9 “Now this is the commandment, the statutes and the judgments which the Lord your God has commanded me to teach you, that you might do them in the land where you are going over to possess it, 2 so that you and your son and your grandson might fear the Lord your God, to keep all His statutes and His commandments which I command you, all the days of your life, and that your days may be prolonged. 3 O Israel, you should listen and be careful to do it, that it may be well with you and that you may multiply greatly, just as the Lord, the God of your fathers, has promised you, in a land flowing with milk and honey. 4 “Hear, O Israel! The Lord is our God, the Lord is one! 5 You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. 6 These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart. 7 You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up. 8 You shall bind them as a sign on your hand and they shall be as frontals on your forehead. 9 You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.
This is the Word of the LORD.
In our passage today God reminds Israel of the necessity of obedience, how that obedience would lead to things going well for them in the land. He reminds them that His promises were not only to them, but to their sons and grandsons after them, that they would dwell and multiply in a land flowing with milk and honey. This is how God has always related to His people, even in the New Testament era. Peter in Acts 2:39 proclaims to the Jews who had been cut to the heart:
``For the promise is for you and your children and for all who are far off, as many as the Lord our God will call to Himself.”
God's promises to His people, whether the promise of a seed in Genesis 3:15, God's promise of a land for Abraham's descendants in Genesis 13, God's promise of a son and many nations to Abraham in Genesis 17, His promises to Israel after the Egyptian captivity that the land over the Jordan was theirs, and that He would drive their enemies out before Israel, His promises to David in 2 Samuel 7 of a dwelling place of rest, peace, and freedom from enemies all around, of always having a son on the throne of Israel, that God would in fact make a house for him! All of these promises we see fulfilled in the pages of Scripture, showing that God's promises to His people, and their children and their children's children always come true.
We see these promises climax in the coming of the Messiah, Jesus Christ, the seed promised in Genesis 3:15, who is the fulfillment of all the types and shadows found in the promises God made in the OT. He is the Son of David Who will sit on the throne and reign forever! He is the promised seed who crushed the serpent's head. He has gone before us to prepare a place for us. He is the sacrificial lamb Who actually takes away our sins. He is making all His enemies, our enemies, into footstools. All these promises of God are to us, our children, and our children's children.
Do you believe this?
One way to know if you actually believe this is whether or not this old adage can be said of you:
Does your theology come out of your fingertips?
In other words, as you claim that all the promises of God are yes and amen, that you believe God has ordained from eternity past that He would raise up a nation of priests to worship Him in Spirit and Truth, and that Jesus is the head of said Nation, the Church, which He died for, crushing the serpent's head, becoming the substitutionary atonement for our sins, rose from the dead, and now sits at the right hand of God the Father Almighty: if you say you believe all that, does it manifest itself in your life in how you disciple your children?
That is what our passage today is about. Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it (Proverbs 22:6).
Listen to these verses from our passage today:
"These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart."
As a Covenant parent seeking to discipline and raise Covenant children, this is of vital importance.
Fathers, if what is supreme in your heart are hobbies, toys, entertainment, work, or the future, to the neglect of God's Word, you will not be able to discipline your children as God commands.
Mothers, if wordle is the Word that predominantly fills your heart, or worry, anxiety, and the cares of this world, rather than the perfect Law of God, discipling your child according to God's commands will be impossible.
"You shall teach them diligently to your sons
shall talk of them when you sit in your house and
when you walk by the way and
when you lie down and
when you rise up."
Those that believe in God's covenant promises, those to whom God condescended and made a Covenant of Law with, which we have been reading through in Deuteronomy, are commanded to be diligent in teaching their children, their covenant children to whom all the promises of God are yes and amen, all the oracles of God. This is one aspect of what it means to make disciples. Jesus told us that disciples, students, will become like their teachers. What this means is that what you hold dear, the things important to you, whatever it is that you treasure, your children will learn to emulate you in those things.
I have heard it said by some that children are too young, incapable, and are not able to be made disciples. That because a very young child cannot comprehend and articulate even the most basic aspects of the gospel, they can in no way be considered to be a disciple. God's word begs to differ. Jesus said let the little children come to me.
You are called to be teaching your children God's Law, making them disciples. When? Sitting at home, walking by the way, before they lie down, and when they rise. In other words, God's word is eternally true and applicable for all of life.
Does this mean that you hold your two month old on your lap and recite the Book of Leviticus to them at bedtime? Probably not, but it would be better than most of the crap which passes for bedtime stories.
Does this mean that Calvin's Institute's or Matthew Henry's commentaries must be read to little Timmy when you are pushing him around the block in his stroller? No.
Does this command from God mean that by the time your child is five years old they ought to be able to share the gospel like Paul Washer? No.
What this does mean, parent, is that you must be teaching your children how to Love the Lord their God with all their heart, mind, soul, and strength, and their neighbor as themself, in an age appropriate context.
For example, it could mean teaching your two month old the orderliness of God's Church by establishing a routine in your home which makes the best use of your family's time. God is not a God of confusion, neither should your home be.
It could mean singing "Jesus loves me this I know" to your one year old at bathtime, teaching them how to praise God with their lips.
Discipling your children may mean waking up early on a weekday and reading through JC Ryle's book "Thoughts for young men", or having a hard conversation between you and your teenage daughter with bible in hand.
Discipling could look like you picking your eight year old son up off the ground, dusting him off, wiping his tears away, and washing the wound from his bike wreck. You know, the way God does for us when we stumble and fall, teaching him the love of the Father.
Did I mention that discipling your children happens everywhere? Dear brothers and sisters, even here at Church your children need you to be discipling them.
With a potential move looming on the horizon, we would be remiss if we did not do a self evaluation of our stewardship of this facility God has blessed us with.
Early on, we made a Church rule that there would be no food, no coffee, in the sanctuary area. I know that with little ones this is difficult. I know that teaching small children to have self control for a two and a half hour period is hard work. It demands patience, repetition, consistency, perseverance, and above all, faith. It isn't impossible. I have heard the food consumption by children in the Church described by one older lady as an all you can eat buffet. What has resulted is a carpet full of crushed up crackers, ground in cookies, stained seat cushions, and unnecessary frustration.
How does this relate to the discipleship of your children? By obeying the request of the Pastor and Elders in this little thing, you could have discipled your children in the value of self control, stewardship, respecting other people's property, and submission to authority, even when it is an inconvenience. In reality, Sunday mornings is like the day of testing for your children. You cannot use the worship service as the primary time and place in which you teach your child self control, stewardship, respect for the property of others, and submission to authority. That happens every day, in every place, and if it isn't happening, it will definitely show up on a Sunday morning.
My friends, I don't say this to be harsh, but to highlight one little sliver of life where we all fall short, and to show how God's Word pierces our hearts, strikes us with a godly sorrow, leads us to repentance, and is applicable for all of life, all the time, no matter where we are.
This rebuke should not touch only those to whom it was specifically directed. How many of us have failed to teach our children self control in other ways here at Church? How many of us have failed to disciple our children in being good stewards of God's blessings, by being a blessing to the Church? Who among us can say we have truly respected this Church house? Who can say with a straight face that submission to authority is their gift, a perpetual fruit of their spirit?
We have all fallen short of God's glory brothers and sisters. Let us repent, and with the faith of Abraham look unto Jesus, the Savior of our souls, and cling to His promises, chiefly this morning, that He will remove our sins as far away as the east is from the west.
At this time, if you are able, please kneel as we confess our sins to God.
Heavenly Father,
We come to You this morning thankful that you are the God of promises.
We are thankful that You have established a Covenant with Your people, to be our God, and that your Word never fails.
Father, please forgive us for our lack of faith, our unbelief, which leads us to strive in our own strength and wisdom.
Please forgive us for our failure to disciple our children in accordance to Your Word. Help us to realize that to not train our children up in the way they should go, is unloving towards them, and disobedience towards you.
Father, help us to have self control, to be good stewards, respect other people's property, and submit to godly authority. Forgive us when we stumble in these ways.
In Jesus's name we pray, amen.
Please join me in standing and listen to the comforting assurance of the grace of God, promised in the gospel to his church:
Acts 16:31 They said, “Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved, you and your household.”
To all those who thus repent and seek Jesus Christ for their salvation, your sins are forgiven in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen. Lift up your hearts!
(From the 02/06/2022 liturgy of Sovereign King Church written by Aaron Sabie.)