Confessions of a Church: A Submissive Wife

The Psalm writer wrote:  Open my eyes, that I may behold Wonderful things from Your law. As we come before a Holy God and hear his word, may we have eyes open to the wonderful and fearful things from his law. May it move us to repent and seek forgiveness, fear disobedience, and live in light of the grace we have received.   This is the word of God.  It is eternally true and applicable for all of life.  

Deuteronomy 2:16-37 “So it came about when all the men of war had finally perished from among the people, that the Lord spoke to me, saying, ‘Today you shall cross over Ar, the border of Moab. When you come opposite the sons of Ammon, do not harass them nor provoke them, for I will not give you any of the land of the sons of Ammon as a possession, because I have given it to the sons of Lot as a possession.’ (It is also regarded as the land of the Rephaim, for Rephaim formerly lived in it, but the Ammonites call them Zamzummin, a people as great, numerous, and tall as the Anakim, but the Lord destroyed them before them. And they dispossessed them and settled in their place, just as He did for the sons of Esau, who live in Seir, when He destroyed the Horites from before them; they dispossessed them and settled in their place even to this day. And the Avvim, who lived in villages as far as Gaza, the Caphtorim who came from Caphtor, destroyed them and lived in their place.) ‘Arise, set out, and pass through the valley of Arnon. Look! I have given Sihon the Amorite, king of Heshbon, and his land into your hand; begin to take possession and contend with him in battle. This day I will begin to put the dread and fear of you upon the peoples everywhere under the heavens, who, when they hear the report of you, will tremble and be in anguish because of you.’ “So I sent messengers from the wilderness of Kedemoth to Sihon king of Heshbon with words of peace, saying, ‘Let me pass through your land, I will travel only on the highway; I will not turn aside to the right or to the left. You will sell me food for money so that I may eat, and give me water for money so that I may drink, only let me pass through on foot, just as the sons of Esau who live in Seir and the Moabites who live in Ar did for me, until I cross over the Jordan into the land which the Lord our God is giving to us.’ But Sihon king of Heshbon was not willing for us to pass through his land; for the Lord your God hardened his spirit and made his heart obstinate, in order to deliver him into your hand, as he is today. The Lord said to me, ‘See, I have begun to deliver Sihon and his land over to you. Begin to occupy, that you may possess his land.’

“Then Sihon with all his people came out to meet us in battle at Jahaz. The Lord our God delivered him over to us, and we defeated him with his sons and all his people. So we captured all his cities at that time and utterly destroyed the men, women and children of every city. We left no survivor. We took only the animals as our booty and the spoil of the cities which we had captured. From Aroer which is on the edge of the valley of Arnon and from the city which is in the valley, even to Gilead, there was no city that was too high for us; the Lord our God delivered all over to us. Only you did not go near to the land of the sons of Ammon, all along the river Jabbok and the cities of the hill country, and wherever the Lord our God had commanded us.

This is the Word of the Lord.

In his commentary on Deuteronomy, Matthew Henry says this regarding Israel's preparations to push into the promised land:

If we forbear what God forbids, we shall receive what he promises, and shall be no losers at last by our obedience, though it may seem for the present to be to our loss.

He says this in regards to the fact that Israel had been commanded to pass through lands of plenty, leaving its occupants unmolested, but here we see God delivering King Sihon and his land into the hands of Israel, who utterly destroys their enemy.

The application today is quite simple:

Wives, while it may seem at the moment that submitting to your husband is a net loss for you, and that your thoughts and plans regarding how you spend your time throughout the day ought to take precedence, understand that God's ways are higher than your own (Isaiah 55:9) and He has commanded you to be subject to your husband. In essence wives, God has forbidden you from doing anything but submit to your husbands. It is not optional. It is not merely a suggestion. It is so serious that, if you are failing in submitting to your husband and are unrepentant, do not dare grace this Lord's table today until you have sought forgiveness from the Lord.

Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.

— Ephesians 5:22-24

This means that if your husband has said "I need you to make sure that dinner is ready by 5:30p.m. every day throughout the work week because promptly at 6:45 I would like us to sit down as a family and worship God together", wives, you need to rearrange everything else in your schedule to make this happen.

It means Aunt "so and so" and her demands on a Tuesday afternoon are going to have to wait.

It means sleeping in until 9:30 a.m. or 10 a.m. every morning and regularly scheduled extended naps are going to have to come to an end and you are going to have to discipline yourself to be a better steward of your time (Ephesians 5:16).

It means that the demands placed upon you by parents, other church members, Joe Biden, and especially your own sinful flesh, must be cast aside. Wives, you are not your own, you were bought with a price (1 Corinthians 6:19). Obedience to your husbands is not optional.

"Yeah but."

Yeah but nothing.

If you want to perform an experiment and see how quickly a home can be destroyed, then continue to allow your obedience to your husband be based upon how you feel, what your family and friends have to say about it, what all the Jezebels on your Facebook friends list think about you submitting to a man, and whether or not you believe your husband is even worthy to be submitted to. You will be what the bible calls a fool.

The wise woman builds her house,

But the foolish tears it down with her own hands.

— Proverbs 14:1

Ladies, it is laughable that you believe that you know better than God.

When you say, through your words and actions that you will not be subject to your husbands, you are saying that God does not know your situation, God does not care, God will not provide for your needs, God must be a monster because why else would He be demanding that I submit to this idiot?

Wives, a part of being subject to your own husband, is being a keeper of the home.

Do you work hard and diligently in your domestic duties? Cleaning house, cooking meals, bathing children, loving your children, reading to them, teaching them, being wise with the resources your husband gives you?

You say, "Well, one of the kids, or my lazy husband will just mess it up 30 seconds later, so why bother?"

Why bother? Because you are your husband's helper, and your children's mother, that's why bother. You ought to be using your time, energy, talents, and gifts in such a way that when your husband comes home, as tired as he may be, he looks at the stewardship you have displayed via a tidy home, well prepared meal, clean kids, and a ready list of disciplinary concerns and says "Amen! I am blessed! I have a wife who loves me! I know when I am at work everything is taken care of! This woman makes it so easy to lay my life down for her! I will rise up and call her blessed! Many daughters have done nobly but you excel them all! (Proverbs 31: 29).

Can your husband say this of you?

In the evening when it is time for your husband to go to bed, because he has to get up at 5 a.m., is your home winding down, the children ready for bed, the chores all done, the activities of the house having come to an end?

Or is it a free for all of snacks, hustle and bustle, running out at 8 pm to help so and so, not as a rare occurrence, but rather the regular pattern of the home?

Stop it. Help your husband. It's why you are married.

One more quick point of application:

There is a command in Scripture given to the older women of the church that says:

Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good, so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored.

— Titus 2:3-5

The older women teaching the younger women "to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored", presupposes that the younger women are available to be taught, willing to be taught, and are actually teachable.

Do you take part in the women's ministry of this Church? What's your excuse?

Do you have the older women of the Church on speed dial, calling them with questions about this or that, picking their brains and diligently seeking for answers to difficult questions?

When approached by the older women of the Church, is your answer always "I'm fine. I'm ok. No problems here"? Then later, comes to find out everything isn't fine, typically through a vague telegram message asking for "unspoken prayers", or a Facebook meme about how people "just don't understand me".

Maybe your thought is "Not only am I not going to submit to my husband, I am not going to take advice from some doormat of a woman. I already know what she will say".

Wives, you need to repent lest you likewise perish.

At this time, please kneel if you are able as we cry out to Almighty God for mercy and forgiveness.

Heavenly Father,

Rebellion always seems sweet to us, enjoying that which is forbidden or merely delayed,

Then we look back and see a trail of destruction.

In the case of rebellious wives, homes are shipwrecked by the very hands entrusted to keep them.

Father, please prick the consciences of the wives and young ladies here today, helping them to recognize that they can be either a blessing or a curse to their homes.

Help them to choose this day whom they will serve, Christ or their flesh.

Christ or their extended family.

Christ or the world.

Please forgive us for our grievous sins against You, in Jesus' name we pray, amen.

Please stand and listen to the comforting assurance of the grace of God, promised in the gospel to his church: 

Isaiah 40:9-11 Get yourself up on a high mountain, O Zion, bearer of good news, Lift up your voice mightily, O Jerusalem, bearer of good news; Lift it up, do not fear. Say to the cities of Judah, “Here is your God!” Behold, the Lord God will come with might, With His arm ruling for Him. Behold, His reward is with Him And His recompense before Him. Like a shepherd He will tend His flock, In His arm He will gather the lambs And carry them in His bosom; He will gently lead the nursing ewes.

 To all those who thus repent and seek Jesus Christ for their salvation, your sins are forgiven in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen. Lift up your hearts!

(From the 12/05/2021 liturgy of Sovereign King Church written by Aaron Sabie.)