So your husband comes home from work and thinks some changes need to be made around the house, to the schedule. Or maybe he has learned something during his study of scripture that he thinks needs to be implemented.
Maybe it’s something where the balk of the work or change seems to fall on you.
It can be hard to handle. You are tempted to take offense at it either as an assault on your character or an assault on your "freedom." Maybe you don't like being moved out of your comfort zone. You know, however, that God wants you to submit to your husband.
But again the change is hard to accept. What do you do? How do you follow his lead through changes?
Here are ten things you can do to be at peace with change and to follow your husbands lead:
1. Remember- Remember that your husband is your head. 1 Corinthians 11: 3 says, "But I want you to understand that Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of a woman, and God is the head of Christ." And again 1 Corinthians 11 says, "For man does not originate from woman, but woman from man; for indeed man was not created for the woman’s sake, but woman for the man’s sake." Ephesians 5 :22 says, "Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything."
Be settled in the word of God. The Lord has made your husband your head. He has been given responsibility and authority over the home. This is a good thing because as he exercises this he is accountable to God for it. This actually takes off some of the pressure from you. You don't bear the weight of that responsibility. If you simply believe God's word and live in accordance with it. You will find true joy.
2. Forget- Be willing to forgive and forget when your husband hasn’t lead, has made mistakes in his leading or even makes mistakes as he is trying to lead now. When we pray the Lord's prayer, we pray that God will forgive us as we forgive others.
You can't keep a hard drive in your head stored with all the past sins and faults of your husband.
You have to ask God to help you forgive and forget. To constantly remember past sins will do nothing but make you bitter. It will also make you unable to be lead but also unhappy that you aren't being lead well. You also need to be gracious as your husband tries to lead. He is a sinner and even when he leads he will do an imperfect job of it. You can't dwell on all the imperfects, thinking about how you would do things so differently, or you can let your love cover a multitude of sins as Christ would call you.
3. Be thankful- Be thankful that your husband is trying to lead. The Bible calls you to respect your husband. Thankfulness is key to that respect. Be mindful that leading isn’t easy. Again it bears with it a weighty judgement. Your husband will be judged for how he leads. You ought to make that work easier for him and not harder. So be thankful that you have a husband who is trying to be obedient to God's commands.
4. Don’t make it about you- Be on guard that you don’t let your thoughts first go to what it will cost you to enact this change. Don’t take it as an assault on your identity or person if there are sins to be repented of. The Bible says that a wise person loves discipline. That is they love to be corrected by scripture. But if your first thought is that this is an assault on yourself, you won’t receive wise council. Remember that Jesus said that if anyone wishes to preserve his life he will lose it. If you constantly think about you, you will never be happy.
Even as you fight your husband you won't be happy. Stop thinking about yourself and think about how he is loving you by leading you. Think about how unlovely you really are and how amazing it is that a man would love you. More importantly think about how awesome and amazing that God would love you.
5. Trust your husband: I know this is hard but you married him. If he is trying to make a change it’s probably because he wants to make things better and not worse. Remember scripture says Sarah obeyed Abraham and called him Lord. You are her children if you do everything without fear. Therefore fight your desire to rebel by being reminded that your husband is trying to do good.
6. Trust God even more: You can submit to another person, someone who has sins and faults, because you trust Christ to be your protector and shield. You trust God to honor and protect you. 1 Peter 3 says wives can submit to even an unbelieving husband. Why? Because they trust that God will vindicate them. They know that whatever suffering they face in this life, they have eternal life. Some of you hate the thought of submission because you don't believe that God will reward you with infinite riches. You don't have your eyes on Christ and his promises. Therefore you are hell bent on preserving all you can for yourself in this life.
7. Don’t Resist change: If you want your husband to lead in good ways don’t resist him at every step of the way. Eventually he may grow tired of your defiance and just give up on trying to lead. You won’t be happier when he does even if you think you would be a better leader. Don't nag and complain the whole time. God hates grumblers and tells us to do a all things without grumbling and complaining.
8. Be Helpful: Your job is to help your husband. You can help improve the changes by taking ownership of them. Don’t just go along passively, being dragged along unwillingly. Get on board and improve your husband’s desired changes. By improve I don’t mean by you refusing them or doing something completely different because you think you know better. Rather throw yourself into the work, make suggestions, and do your best. A good wife is always an improvement to a man.
9. Study: If you don’t understand what is being asked or why, ask questions. Again don’t passively go along without thought but study the word of God. Then again some things don’t take much study, so don’t use that as an excuse to not follow your husband. If you have questions ask your husband. Not in a I dare you to tell me something attitude but in a genuine can you help me understand attitude.
10. Fear God Most: While you are commanded to submit to your husband, he is not God. If he commands sinful things you must not follow. If he is trying to make an ungodly change then you can’t go along. But again you must be aware of your sinful nature wanting any excuse not to follow your husband. Therefore if you are confused, get help from pastors, elders, and Titus 2 women.