Marriage and Parenting Tip:
Couch Time
Something we of the session of SKC have stressed over the years is for husbands and wives to engage in what’s known as “couch time”.
Couch time is the practice of a husband and wife gathering together each day to catch one another up on the day’s happenings.
“How was work?”
“How did homeschool go?”
“Did you get everything you needed from the grocery?”
“What’s on the agenda for the rest of the week?”
“How are you doing dear?”
Using the couch as the meeting place for these communications is not necessary, but a few minutes of undistracted, uninterrupted, face to face, intimate dialogue is.
This practice serves a number of ends:
A couple of points about the establishment and execution of couch time:
Lastly, it is abundantly obvious to the Elders when married couples are not engaging in couch time.
You’re late for activities.
Children are undisciplined.
Wives are complaining on social media.
All of your happenings are rushed, disorganized, and last minute.
The right hand never knows what the left is doing.
The husband was unaware of this planned activity, while the wife had no clue “so and so” was coming for dinner until an hour before it happened.
This list isn’t all inclusive, but hopefully you can see how these obvious signs (which are all real world, observed situations), are indicative of a lack of communication on the part of husbands and wives.
With all this in mind, I pray this will be received as a gift this Christmas season, one which will promote the peace of Christ in your homes.
Couch time is the practice of a husband and wife gathering together each day to catch one another up on the day’s happenings.
“How was work?”
“How did homeschool go?”
“Did you get everything you needed from the grocery?”
“What’s on the agenda for the rest of the week?”
“How are you doing dear?”
Using the couch as the meeting place for these communications is not necessary, but a few minutes of undistracted, uninterrupted, face to face, intimate dialogue is.
This practice serves a number of ends:
- For the husband, it communicates to his wife that he is concerned with her day, the discipline and education of the children, her management of the home, and her own growth as a wife and mother. It reveals ways in which he can practice laying down his life for his wife.
- For the wife, it affords her an opportunity to encourage the leadership of her husband in the home, highlights areas of the children’s discipline which needs addressing, and keeps him apprised of issues with the home pertaining to stewardship, all done with a gentle and quiet spirit.
- For the children, it teaches them that they are not the center of Mommy and Daddy’s universe, that a healthy marriage between Mommy and Daddy is infinitely more important than whatever appetite or desire they may have for the 10, 15, or 20 minutes couch time may last
A couple of points about the establishment and execution of couch time:
- Do it daily. Life throws constant curveballs and a steady stream of challenges at us. A small, uncommunicated problem today, becomes a massive issue tomorrow.
- Do it at the same time every day. This introduces a non negotiable activity into your daily routine which provides a sense of stability, especially for the wife and children. This is a big deal, given that many men are prone to “checking out” after a long day.
- Do couch time in a way in which your children know that’s what is taking place. Why? For starters see #2 above. Furthermore, this will provide you with another opportunity to discipline your children, and as a husband, establish your wife’s authority in the home as they see the two of you interacting as a unified pair.
Lastly, it is abundantly obvious to the Elders when married couples are not engaging in couch time.
You’re late for activities.
Children are undisciplined.
Wives are complaining on social media.
All of your happenings are rushed, disorganized, and last minute.
The right hand never knows what the left is doing.
The husband was unaware of this planned activity, while the wife had no clue “so and so” was coming for dinner until an hour before it happened.
This list isn’t all inclusive, but hopefully you can see how these obvious signs (which are all real world, observed situations), are indicative of a lack of communication on the part of husbands and wives.
With all this in mind, I pray this will be received as a gift this Christmas season, one which will promote the peace of Christ in your homes.