Building Good Habits Part 1
Practice = Permanent
Mr. Cox often says, 'Practice makes permanent.' No, he isn't misspeaking by saying 'permanent' rather than the usual 'perfect.' The truth is, this side of heaven, nothing and no one is perfect. Everything we think, say, and do has been corrupted by the fall, therefore, all our best efforts, even our efforts to develop good, healthy habits for ourselves and our homes, will fall short and land in imperfection. What does happen when we practice a thing, is that it becomes permanent (sort of, because even permanence is impacted by the fall). We call these somewhat, more or less, permanent practices: habits.
This concept was ingrained in me back in the spring of 1995 during my time at the Navy's Recruit Training Command in Great Lakes, Illinois. Every Naval installation, whether the Recruit Training Command in Great Lakes or aboard a Spruance-class destroyer named the USS Kinkaid (DD 965), puts out document each and every day called, quite creatively, the PLAN OF THE DAY (POD). It is an outline of all the routine and scheduled events for that particular day, along with any activities unique to it.
Mr. Cox often says, 'Practice makes permanent.' No, he isn't misspeaking by saying 'permanent' rather than the usual 'perfect.' The truth is, this side of heaven, nothing and no one is perfect. Everything we think, say, and do has been corrupted by the fall, therefore, all our best efforts, even our efforts to develop good, healthy habits for ourselves and our homes, will fall short and land in imperfection. What does happen when we practice a thing, is that it becomes permanent (sort of, because even permanence is impacted by the fall). We call these somewhat, more or less, permanent practices: habits.
This concept was ingrained in me back in the spring of 1995 during my time at the Navy's Recruit Training Command in Great Lakes, Illinois. Every Naval installation, whether the Recruit Training Command in Great Lakes or aboard a Spruance-class destroyer named the USS Kinkaid (DD 965), puts out document each and every day called, quite creatively, the PLAN OF THE DAY (POD). It is an outline of all the routine and scheduled events for that particular day, along with any activities unique to it.
On board my ship, the Kinkaid, the POD, issued by the top officers on board the ship, was used by my work center supervisors to shape what our day, week, and month of scheduled maintenance and activities would look like. Every work center on board the ship utilized the ship’s POD in this fashion. It ensured that, broadly speaking, all 320+ crew members were on the same page. Typically, much of the POD corresponded to a series of bells and whistles which would regularly ring out across the ship's PA system, alerting you that the next ship activity was about to take place. This formed deeply entrenched habits in the crew, who grew to expect certain things to happen at certain times. This familiarity with daily life ensured that everyone was working together toward the mission.
Imagine a naval vessel operating in a manner in which the Captain plans to do a refueling operation, while simultaneously the Combat Systems Department planned to execute a live-fire exercise with the Mark 41 Vertical Launch System shooting Tomahawk cruise missiles, and unbeknownst to both of them, there was a scheduled 'steel beach picnic'1 set for the same time. Chaos would ensue. Bringing this down to the scope of family life, this very scene is what your Pastor and Elders see play out in your lives with regular frequency. Husbands not realizing their wife had dinner plans made. Wives caught off guard by their husband's last-minute fishing excursion. Kids ill-prepared for church because no plans had been established or good habits formed, which enabled them to be faithfully engaged in worship.
This blog post aims to highlight the importance of establishing good habits in our daily lives. By categorizing habits into 'good' and 'bad,' we can better understand and control their impacts.
A good habit is one which has a net positive impact on your life, glorifies God, promotes healthy living, good stewardship, and is reasonably sustainable over the long term. Also, a good habit is one which fits your life, works for your family, and utilizes your God given talents, resources, and gifts. What may be a good habit for one person or their family, may not be a good habit for you or your family.
Broadly speaking, good habits include reading your bible, hugging your children, finishing your work before you play, eating meals together as a family, reading God’s word to your family, taking care of your health. The list of good habits could go on forever.
Conversely, a bad habit is one which does the opposite of a good habit. Bad habits don’t glorify God. Bad habits may cut across the grain of your family dynamic: in other words, that practice doesn't fit, it isn’t a habit which adds any good to you or your family. Bad habits squander time, energy, resources, and zeal, promote poor stewardship of mind, body, and soul, and distract you from you and your family’s mission of glorifying God and enjoying him forever. Bad habits could include: checking out on loving your wife by not disciplining your children after a long day of work, staying up late the night before church leaving you wondering why you are never prepared for worship, stopping for a soda and candy bar on your way home from work every day, or sleeping in till 9 or 10 am every day and then complaining why you never have time to get anything done. Unfortunately, a list of our bad habits could go on forever and ever.
Before going any further, consider the habits we develop. Your habits, both good and bad, are not just your own; they impact everyone around you.2 Consider the bad habit of checking out on your children's discipline when you get home from work. For instance, your checking out might manifest as saying, "Okay Timmy, it's screen time. Go watch a YouTube video or play some video games while I sit here and decompress." This may seem innocent enough. You might wonder, "Well, don't I deserve to decompress?" However, if decompressing means delaying the hard work of fathering to have a beer while leaving your child's habits to be shaped by a screen, then no. Our habits are significant and have far-reaching effects.
Making Lists
With that in mind, let's examine some habits that could be beneficial to develop.
Earlier I spoke of how our lists of bad habits could go on forever. Ironically, making lists can be a good habit to develop. Do you make lists? Not the lists many reformed Christians like to make, you know:
“Ten things every man should be able to do.”
“Top five books every Christian should read.”
“List your favorite theologians in order, starting with Calvin.”
On and on the lists go. Frankly, this type of list making comes across as annoying humble brags by know-it-alls, but making lists can actually be a good habit. There are all kinds of lists we can get in the habit of making which promote God’s glory and help us better enjoy him. How’s that? Well, lists help you see what’s coming down the road. Lists help you organize your thoughts.
As you check your lists off, you get the added benefit of seeing progress, seeing where you struggled, and having a clear picture of what you have left to do.
Grocery lists.
To do lists.
Prayer lists.
Chore lists.
Homeschool reading lists.
Lists recording all the folks you plan on inviting for dinner (that’s another good habit, especially if you want to get to know people).
Lists about all the week's church activities.
We can make lists for everything. Making lists is a good habit to get into. What habit do you employ to help you keep track of all you have scheduled and would like to get done each day of the week? If you say none, “I like to fly by the seat of my pants”, well, that could explain why you're always late for church, miss deadlines, and drop the ball when people depend on you. The habit of making a list could go a long way to helping you juggle all the things God has given you to do, and help you better glorify and enjoy him.
A discussion of habits, good and bad, can take us a million different directions and keeping lists is just one of those. Another set of habits which would need to be in place for the habit of list making to have any ground to stand on, would be the habits which you develop for your home.
Broadly speaking I have identified four areas of habits which I believe are vital to the home to ensure that we glorify God and enjoy him forever, fulfilling God’s creation mandate, loving Him and neighbor alike:
Morning habits
Work habits
Evening habits
Stewardship habits
Since this is not a book, or an essay, but rather a blog post3, I will quickly unpack the first of these four areas of habits (since in the multitude of words sin is not lacking, get in the habit of listening more and speaking less), offering my thoughts about application, and will cite what I believe to be the biblical principle which underlies them. The remaining three habit areas (Work, Evening, and Stewardship) will be addressed in follow up blog posts. We will begin with Morning habits, because everyone knows that the key to a productive day is a well balanced breakfast.
Morning habits
“You rolled out of the wrong side of the bed this morning!”
Ever heard that? It is descriptive language meant to suggest that your day apparently got started off on the wrong foot. Well, morning habits are those habits meant to ensure the opposite, that your day starts well. One of the habits I have developed over the years, which my wife has followed suit in, is the habit of arising early during the work week. Likely a holdover from my Navy days, and coupled with a desire to maximize the time I get to spend with my family in the evening, waking up early (anywhere from 3:50 am-4:30 am for me) affords me the chance to tackle things which tend to be strategic4 in nature, things which shore up the foundation of my life with a view to the future. These don't necessary provide instant gratification but scripture says "Go to the ant you sluggard."
1) Prayer: We pray to our Heavenly Father, going boldly to His throne in the name of His Son Jesus by the power of the Holy Spirit, seeking that grace we need to glorify Him in all we do that day. God’s word says to “ask, seek, and knock”5, so why would we not start our day off with prayer. Maybe you’re tempted to ask “How can I pray when little Timmy is tugging at me for food, little Susie is crying, the dog needs to go out, and my husband’s lunch needs to be packed? I can’t even think straight.” This is why your day may need to start, real early. If speaking with your Heavenly Father is important to you, you will make time. “Prayer is intimidating. If my prayer is supposed to sound like the prayers we hear at Church on a Sunday, I’m doomed.” Fear not. Your prayer does not need to sound like the Pastor’s, nor does it need to be along the lines of a prayer from The Valley of Vision. God is your Father, just talk to Him. Tell Him your fears. Acknowledge to Him your weaknesses. Ask Him for strength, courage, and provision. Think of the requests your little children make of you, and pray like that.
2) First Breakfast (The Word of God): We read God’s word, the bread of life. Just like how your body needs a diet of well balanced food to function properly, so does your heart and soul. As Christians, all of us would likely agree that we are to obey our Lord and Master Jesus Christ (“if you love me, obey My commands”6). Well, it is to the Bible we must go to know what God’s will is. It’s only by walking in obedience to God’s will for us, revealed in His word, in faith, that we have any hope of navigating this life with any possibility of glorifying and enjoying him. “I can’t read very well.” Then get a bible app and listen along. “I can’t understand what I’m reading.” Ask your Pastor or Elder for explanations, utilize an accessible commentary like Matthew Henry’s, ask your husband (wives7), or purchase a study bible8. It may even be necessary, if you have not been raised in the faith and haven’t been taught all the terminology you may encounter in Scripture, to pick up your children’s bible story book and familiarize yourself that way.
3) Mind exercise: Read or listen to other things which stimulate your brain. God’s word says that “Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.” (Philippians 4:8) I’m not suggesting you find one of those reformed lists of “25 books every Christian should read” and work your way down the list. What I am suggesting is that you read something, whether that be a book on theology, an article tangent to your occupation, a blog about meal planning (more plans), something, to get your gears turning. Read something, which will support the mission of your home. “Aaron, I don’t read well….Aaron, I don’t like to read…..I listen to podcasts instead.” Those two things aren’t mutually exclusive, however, in a discussion about good habits, discipline is an element of the conversation. It takes discipline to set aside time to read a book and finish it. It takes zero discipline to listen to a podcast or an audio book. “I like to multitask.” Good for you. Now, discipline yourself, set aside time, and read a book. I think part of the reason so many choose podcasts and audiobooks over making time to read a book, is because they lack the self discipline to do it. So go ahead and listen to good things but you will benefit by reading.
Imagine a naval vessel operating in a manner in which the Captain plans to do a refueling operation, while simultaneously the Combat Systems Department planned to execute a live-fire exercise with the Mark 41 Vertical Launch System shooting Tomahawk cruise missiles, and unbeknownst to both of them, there was a scheduled 'steel beach picnic'1 set for the same time. Chaos would ensue. Bringing this down to the scope of family life, this very scene is what your Pastor and Elders see play out in your lives with regular frequency. Husbands not realizing their wife had dinner plans made. Wives caught off guard by their husband's last-minute fishing excursion. Kids ill-prepared for church because no plans had been established or good habits formed, which enabled them to be faithfully engaged in worship.
This blog post aims to highlight the importance of establishing good habits in our daily lives. By categorizing habits into 'good' and 'bad,' we can better understand and control their impacts.
A good habit is one which has a net positive impact on your life, glorifies God, promotes healthy living, good stewardship, and is reasonably sustainable over the long term. Also, a good habit is one which fits your life, works for your family, and utilizes your God given talents, resources, and gifts. What may be a good habit for one person or their family, may not be a good habit for you or your family.
Broadly speaking, good habits include reading your bible, hugging your children, finishing your work before you play, eating meals together as a family, reading God’s word to your family, taking care of your health. The list of good habits could go on forever.
Conversely, a bad habit is one which does the opposite of a good habit. Bad habits don’t glorify God. Bad habits may cut across the grain of your family dynamic: in other words, that practice doesn't fit, it isn’t a habit which adds any good to you or your family. Bad habits squander time, energy, resources, and zeal, promote poor stewardship of mind, body, and soul, and distract you from you and your family’s mission of glorifying God and enjoying him forever. Bad habits could include: checking out on loving your wife by not disciplining your children after a long day of work, staying up late the night before church leaving you wondering why you are never prepared for worship, stopping for a soda and candy bar on your way home from work every day, or sleeping in till 9 or 10 am every day and then complaining why you never have time to get anything done. Unfortunately, a list of our bad habits could go on forever and ever.
Before going any further, consider the habits we develop. Your habits, both good and bad, are not just your own; they impact everyone around you.2 Consider the bad habit of checking out on your children's discipline when you get home from work. For instance, your checking out might manifest as saying, "Okay Timmy, it's screen time. Go watch a YouTube video or play some video games while I sit here and decompress." This may seem innocent enough. You might wonder, "Well, don't I deserve to decompress?" However, if decompressing means delaying the hard work of fathering to have a beer while leaving your child's habits to be shaped by a screen, then no. Our habits are significant and have far-reaching effects.
Making Lists
With that in mind, let's examine some habits that could be beneficial to develop.
Earlier I spoke of how our lists of bad habits could go on forever. Ironically, making lists can be a good habit to develop. Do you make lists? Not the lists many reformed Christians like to make, you know:
“Ten things every man should be able to do.”
“Top five books every Christian should read.”
“List your favorite theologians in order, starting with Calvin.”
On and on the lists go. Frankly, this type of list making comes across as annoying humble brags by know-it-alls, but making lists can actually be a good habit. There are all kinds of lists we can get in the habit of making which promote God’s glory and help us better enjoy him. How’s that? Well, lists help you see what’s coming down the road. Lists help you organize your thoughts.
As you check your lists off, you get the added benefit of seeing progress, seeing where you struggled, and having a clear picture of what you have left to do.
Grocery lists.
To do lists.
Prayer lists.
Chore lists.
Homeschool reading lists.
Lists recording all the folks you plan on inviting for dinner (that’s another good habit, especially if you want to get to know people).
Lists about all the week's church activities.
We can make lists for everything. Making lists is a good habit to get into. What habit do you employ to help you keep track of all you have scheduled and would like to get done each day of the week? If you say none, “I like to fly by the seat of my pants”, well, that could explain why you're always late for church, miss deadlines, and drop the ball when people depend on you. The habit of making a list could go a long way to helping you juggle all the things God has given you to do, and help you better glorify and enjoy him.
A discussion of habits, good and bad, can take us a million different directions and keeping lists is just one of those. Another set of habits which would need to be in place for the habit of list making to have any ground to stand on, would be the habits which you develop for your home.
Broadly speaking I have identified four areas of habits which I believe are vital to the home to ensure that we glorify God and enjoy him forever, fulfilling God’s creation mandate, loving Him and neighbor alike:
Morning habits
Work habits
Evening habits
Stewardship habits
Since this is not a book, or an essay, but rather a blog post3, I will quickly unpack the first of these four areas of habits (since in the multitude of words sin is not lacking, get in the habit of listening more and speaking less), offering my thoughts about application, and will cite what I believe to be the biblical principle which underlies them. The remaining three habit areas (Work, Evening, and Stewardship) will be addressed in follow up blog posts. We will begin with Morning habits, because everyone knows that the key to a productive day is a well balanced breakfast.
Morning habits
“You rolled out of the wrong side of the bed this morning!”
Ever heard that? It is descriptive language meant to suggest that your day apparently got started off on the wrong foot. Well, morning habits are those habits meant to ensure the opposite, that your day starts well. One of the habits I have developed over the years, which my wife has followed suit in, is the habit of arising early during the work week. Likely a holdover from my Navy days, and coupled with a desire to maximize the time I get to spend with my family in the evening, waking up early (anywhere from 3:50 am-4:30 am for me) affords me the chance to tackle things which tend to be strategic4 in nature, things which shore up the foundation of my life with a view to the future. These don't necessary provide instant gratification but scripture says "Go to the ant you sluggard."
1) Prayer: We pray to our Heavenly Father, going boldly to His throne in the name of His Son Jesus by the power of the Holy Spirit, seeking that grace we need to glorify Him in all we do that day. God’s word says to “ask, seek, and knock”5, so why would we not start our day off with prayer. Maybe you’re tempted to ask “How can I pray when little Timmy is tugging at me for food, little Susie is crying, the dog needs to go out, and my husband’s lunch needs to be packed? I can’t even think straight.” This is why your day may need to start, real early. If speaking with your Heavenly Father is important to you, you will make time. “Prayer is intimidating. If my prayer is supposed to sound like the prayers we hear at Church on a Sunday, I’m doomed.” Fear not. Your prayer does not need to sound like the Pastor’s, nor does it need to be along the lines of a prayer from The Valley of Vision. God is your Father, just talk to Him. Tell Him your fears. Acknowledge to Him your weaknesses. Ask Him for strength, courage, and provision. Think of the requests your little children make of you, and pray like that.
2) First Breakfast (The Word of God): We read God’s word, the bread of life. Just like how your body needs a diet of well balanced food to function properly, so does your heart and soul. As Christians, all of us would likely agree that we are to obey our Lord and Master Jesus Christ (“if you love me, obey My commands”6). Well, it is to the Bible we must go to know what God’s will is. It’s only by walking in obedience to God’s will for us, revealed in His word, in faith, that we have any hope of navigating this life with any possibility of glorifying and enjoying him. “I can’t read very well.” Then get a bible app and listen along. “I can’t understand what I’m reading.” Ask your Pastor or Elder for explanations, utilize an accessible commentary like Matthew Henry’s, ask your husband (wives7), or purchase a study bible8. It may even be necessary, if you have not been raised in the faith and haven’t been taught all the terminology you may encounter in Scripture, to pick up your children’s bible story book and familiarize yourself that way.
3) Mind exercise: Read or listen to other things which stimulate your brain. God’s word says that “Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.” (Philippians 4:8) I’m not suggesting you find one of those reformed lists of “25 books every Christian should read” and work your way down the list. What I am suggesting is that you read something, whether that be a book on theology, an article tangent to your occupation, a blog about meal planning (more plans), something, to get your gears turning. Read something, which will support the mission of your home. “Aaron, I don’t read well….Aaron, I don’t like to read…..I listen to podcasts instead.” Those two things aren’t mutually exclusive, however, in a discussion about good habits, discipline is an element of the conversation. It takes discipline to set aside time to read a book and finish it. It takes zero discipline to listen to a podcast or an audio book. “I like to multitask.” Good for you. Now, discipline yourself, set aside time, and read a book. I think part of the reason so many choose podcasts and audiobooks over making time to read a book, is because they lack the self discipline to do it. So go ahead and listen to good things but you will benefit by reading.
4) Second breakfast. The what and when of the second breakfast is highly debatable, and I’m not a nutritionist. Low carb, high protein, whole oats, free range chicken eggs, blah blah blah. You have to work this out for your family. Suffice it to say that in regards to second breakfast, healthy and nutritious is the key. What is an area where I can offer some advice is in what you use second breakfast for which may not have anything to do with nutrition at all: developing the discipline of your children through the forming of good habits. Some of you have mealtimes which look like a herd of hogs at the slop trough. Mealtimes are a free for all, kids grabbing at food, dropping food on the floor (oftentimes intentionally), leaving and returning to the table at will, playing with toys at the table, not cleaning up after themselves: all of this assuming mealtime even happens at the table.
Second Breakfast affords you a prime opportunity to instill some good habits into your home, which will not only bring some sanity to mealtime, but will simultaneously discipline your children and be a blessing to others when they visit for a meal, or your family goes to someone else’s home for dinner. How do you develop the habit of second breakfast? For starters, your children are going to need a wake up time. If everyone is rolling out of bed at different times, how can you plan a meal? Secondly, start simple. A bowl of cereal, maybe some muffins. Don’t attempt to form the second breakfast habit by prepping these complex, lavish meals. Your children’s lack of care for the work you put into it will be crushing to you as you seek to establish this habit. Third, have the children participate. Perhaps the older children can assist with food prep, with younger children helping set the table and clean up afterwards. How you do this will depend on your children’s development. Fourth, pray together, and take the time to feed the children with God’s word. Keep this part short and sweet. The goal here is to establish a good pattern, a habit.
Fifth, correct your children’s poor behavior, and praise them for their obedience and good behavior. Pastor Tim Bayly of Trinity Reformed Church likes to remind parents of this by telling a story of how as a father of little children he would forbid them to spill their milk at the dinner table. “That’s a little extreme isn’t it Aaron? I mean, kids will be kids right, and they are messy?” Well, they will be messy, and leave their messes for you to clean up, if you let them develop the habit to do so. Part of disciplining your children is in helping them develop good habits. It may involve a simple verbal correction. It could include a spanking if the child appears to be rebellious about your instruction. You as parent will need to tailor the discipline to your child’s needs. Second breakfast habits will impact you and your children throughout the day. Without good habits9, you and your children are left being led along by appetites10, whims, and everyone else’s ideas about how things in your home should flow, and this often has the net effect of distracting your family from the mission.
5) Review and plan the day/week: Scripture says that “The mind of man plans his way, But the LORD directs his steps.” (Proverbs 16:9). If you have been paying attention up until now, this point should be abundantly obvious. For you to get up early, pray, read your bible, study your interests (doctrine, trade, hobby, etc), and have that done by the time your children roll out of bed at the appointed time, so that you and your children can sit down together for breakfast, means that you are going to have to plan out your day, week, month, and maybe calendar year in advance to make sure that the things you have deemed as important DO NOT FALL THROUGH THE CRACKS. I don’t know how many times I have heard “my bad…..I forgot…..it slipped my mind” from various men of the Church in regards to previously committed activities or things that required their attention.
Now, the planning doesn’t need to be super detailed, but it should include regularly scheduled, repeating activities, pop up things (which need to be discussed during couch time before it goes on the schedule so that everyone is aware), and other types of planned activities like church functions, fellowship meals, having folks over for drinks, the trip planned next month, etc. This is important, because it helps you see what’s coming down the pipeline. Another aspect of all of this is your need to communicate these plans to all the affected parties. Don’t wait till last minute to tell your wife about the out of town guest. Don’t spring the trip to the hair salon on your husband as he plans on walking outside to work on the car. Don’t leave your kids in the dark about the movements of your family, then seem amazed that they are always in disarray. The thing about planning is, on one hand you should learn to say no to things that are not on the POD; on the other hand, you have to learn to be flexible, as we make many plans in our attempts to develop good habits, and yet it is the Lord who directs our steps.
God is a God of order, harmony, planning, and purpose. We can see this in how He designed the universe, the ordering of all our steps, and in His fulfilling of His Covenant of Redemption throughout the ages. As His ambassadors here on earth we are to reflect God’s attributes, which means that living haphazardly and flying by the seat of our pants as a rule of life, are not viable options for us as Christians. One way we can begin to construct our lives after that of the Father is to develop healthy habits which create an environment where the mission which God has given you and your family can flourish and succeed..
Second Breakfast affords you a prime opportunity to instill some good habits into your home, which will not only bring some sanity to mealtime, but will simultaneously discipline your children and be a blessing to others when they visit for a meal, or your family goes to someone else’s home for dinner. How do you develop the habit of second breakfast? For starters, your children are going to need a wake up time. If everyone is rolling out of bed at different times, how can you plan a meal? Secondly, start simple. A bowl of cereal, maybe some muffins. Don’t attempt to form the second breakfast habit by prepping these complex, lavish meals. Your children’s lack of care for the work you put into it will be crushing to you as you seek to establish this habit. Third, have the children participate. Perhaps the older children can assist with food prep, with younger children helping set the table and clean up afterwards. How you do this will depend on your children’s development. Fourth, pray together, and take the time to feed the children with God’s word. Keep this part short and sweet. The goal here is to establish a good pattern, a habit.
Fifth, correct your children’s poor behavior, and praise them for their obedience and good behavior. Pastor Tim Bayly of Trinity Reformed Church likes to remind parents of this by telling a story of how as a father of little children he would forbid them to spill their milk at the dinner table. “That’s a little extreme isn’t it Aaron? I mean, kids will be kids right, and they are messy?” Well, they will be messy, and leave their messes for you to clean up, if you let them develop the habit to do so. Part of disciplining your children is in helping them develop good habits. It may involve a simple verbal correction. It could include a spanking if the child appears to be rebellious about your instruction. You as parent will need to tailor the discipline to your child’s needs. Second breakfast habits will impact you and your children throughout the day. Without good habits9, you and your children are left being led along by appetites10, whims, and everyone else’s ideas about how things in your home should flow, and this often has the net effect of distracting your family from the mission.
5) Review and plan the day/week: Scripture says that “The mind of man plans his way, But the LORD directs his steps.” (Proverbs 16:9). If you have been paying attention up until now, this point should be abundantly obvious. For you to get up early, pray, read your bible, study your interests (doctrine, trade, hobby, etc), and have that done by the time your children roll out of bed at the appointed time, so that you and your children can sit down together for breakfast, means that you are going to have to plan out your day, week, month, and maybe calendar year in advance to make sure that the things you have deemed as important DO NOT FALL THROUGH THE CRACKS. I don’t know how many times I have heard “my bad…..I forgot…..it slipped my mind” from various men of the Church in regards to previously committed activities or things that required their attention.
Now, the planning doesn’t need to be super detailed, but it should include regularly scheduled, repeating activities, pop up things (which need to be discussed during couch time before it goes on the schedule so that everyone is aware), and other types of planned activities like church functions, fellowship meals, having folks over for drinks, the trip planned next month, etc. This is important, because it helps you see what’s coming down the pipeline. Another aspect of all of this is your need to communicate these plans to all the affected parties. Don’t wait till last minute to tell your wife about the out of town guest. Don’t spring the trip to the hair salon on your husband as he plans on walking outside to work on the car. Don’t leave your kids in the dark about the movements of your family, then seem amazed that they are always in disarray. The thing about planning is, on one hand you should learn to say no to things that are not on the POD; on the other hand, you have to learn to be flexible, as we make many plans in our attempts to develop good habits, and yet it is the Lord who directs our steps.
God is a God of order, harmony, planning, and purpose. We can see this in how He designed the universe, the ordering of all our steps, and in His fulfilling of His Covenant of Redemption throughout the ages. As His ambassadors here on earth we are to reflect God’s attributes, which means that living haphazardly and flying by the seat of our pants as a rule of life, are not viable options for us as Christians. One way we can begin to construct our lives after that of the Father is to develop healthy habits which create an environment where the mission which God has given you and your family can flourish and succeed..
1. A planned picnic held topside onboard ship, usually meant as a reward to the crew for the fulfillment and exemplary completion of a shipboard operation.
2. Read Joshua chapter 7 about Achan for an example of this.
3. I previously wrote a blog post titled “How to deal with sickness on a Sunday morning” in which I wrapped things up alluding to the chaos that many claim reigns in their home. This blog will hopefully introduce some concepts and handles which can help reduce the chaos.
4. Strategic plans involve long term thinking in which the results may not be seen for a long duration. Tactical planning centers around the day to day steps taken, to achieve the long term strategic goals. Check out The Jocko Podcast for an in depth dive into strategic and tactical planning.
5. Matthew 7:7
6. John 14:15
7. 1 Corinthians 14:35
8. https://store.ligonier.org/collection/the-reformation-study-bible-1
9. The habits described in the “Second breakfast” section are good habits, but aren’t the only ones, and may look different from family to family.
10. Romans 16:18
2. Read Joshua chapter 7 about Achan for an example of this.
3. I previously wrote a blog post titled “How to deal with sickness on a Sunday morning” in which I wrapped things up alluding to the chaos that many claim reigns in their home. This blog will hopefully introduce some concepts and handles which can help reduce the chaos.
4. Strategic plans involve long term thinking in which the results may not be seen for a long duration. Tactical planning centers around the day to day steps taken, to achieve the long term strategic goals. Check out The Jocko Podcast for an in depth dive into strategic and tactical planning.
5. Matthew 7:7
6. John 14:15
7. 1 Corinthians 14:35
8. https://store.ligonier.org/collection/the-reformation-study-bible-1
9. The habits described in the “Second breakfast” section are good habits, but aren’t the only ones, and may look different from family to family.
10. Romans 16:18